- My mum's heartbroken because I don't wanna go near her . I'm scared , just so scared of her .
- My dad's stressed out because of this , although he doesn't say it .
- My boyf's feeling guilty because he feels that he can't make me happy .
Why is this happening to me ? It's not that I don't love my mum anymore , but it's just that hard to go near her . I don't know what's the reason , but I'm just scared .
Talked to Neh and she told me to break the barrier by going up to hug her . But this morning , when she came nearer and nearer to me , I just backed off like how an animal will back off when a stranger is approaching . I started crying like nobody's business . And in the end , I ran back to my room and cover myself under the blanket again . When she came near me , I curled up into a ball . I shiver every time she touches me . I'm just so afraid . Traumatised ? Maybe .
I hope this feeling of fear will go away asap . I don't wanna hurt anymore hearts . I want to revert to my old self . I wish I could just pretend none of this happened , and run up to my mum , smile and say "I'm ok , I bluff you de" . It's just so hard , so damn freaking hard .. I wanna laugh and be bubbly like how I was last time , not like now , crying at every single little thing .
I keep missing school because I don't want to wake up early in the morning to see them . I need to get back to school . MUST . I really don't know how to explain everything to Mrs Loh . I don't know if she'll understand my situation , I don't know if she'll believe what I say is true . It's just so stressful facing the adults .