I wanna run run and run away ;

Last night ended up great but not so great . Dinner treat from my boy , smoked salmon and bbq chicken pizza (: But it wasn't that great because I was killed by cramps . Pain like mad .

Woke up this morning with a even worse cramp . My mood was terribly killed . Like instantly . Organised my files in my laptop so I could find my ppt slides better . Procrastinated on Facebook/Twitter till I died . Cousin's kids came over to use the laptop etc etc etc . Went to sleep because the stupid headache came back .

Okay , I'm gotta rant . So do not read on from this point if you wanna save your eyes tyvm ;

Mum woke up and started screaming . I'm like WTF . Just because my sister was holding on to the packet of crackers and it's almost finished , doesn't mean she ate EVERYTHING . She should freaking get her facts right before screaming , at ANYONE . Doesn't mean she's the MUM , she can just rant at everybody she wants . Did she freaking wake up from her nightmare ?! Even so , she had no rights to scream . HELLO WE'RE ALL HUMANS HERE AND WE HAVE HUMAN RIGHTS , NOT FORGETTING FEELINGS .

Didn't want to go to my grandmother's place because I had PW work not done , and PW paper's on Monday . Freakkkkk . I only realised today that my Church Camp Meeting clashed with my PW Meeting , so I had to rush out some work today before they go for their research tomorrow . And she asked , or rather SCREAMED : THEN WHAT WERE YOU DOING JUST NOW ?! SLEEPING RIGHT ! I was sleeping because my laptop was hogged by my niece/nephew . and followed by THEN WHAT WERE YOU DOING YESTERDAY ?! YOU COULD'VE DONE IT YESTERDAY RIGHT?! I only realised it today like I said , and I'm already stressed out enough . You didn't have to add on to my stress .

When she called grandma to inform her that I wasn't going over , and dad to ask if he wanted dinner . Her tone was all acting cute . And once she hung up the phone , she's all LET'S GO to my sister . Obviously shouting but she didn't know . This sucks like seriously . Every single time , we raise our voices , she scolds us for it . Even when it's unintentional . And when she screams , she doesn't realise it . I really hope she'll have some self awareness on how she's acting . Like really very serious .

If all these crap goes on , I'm gonna leave house . Serious . I really need a break from this world . All these shit . It's not like I'm not stressed enough . She don't have to add on to it . This place I'm living in now , is not a home . What defines a home ? Love , warmth , peace ? I can find NOTHING in this house . It's just a house , and not a home that I'm living in .

All I wanna do is to cry and escape from this warfield . I thank God for providing me with such a caring boyfriend , who's there with me almost 24/7 . Who gives me hugs whenever I need them . Chilling me down when I'm all flary and being all patient with me when I'm throwing my temper .

Feeling weird without cheerleading ):

I didn't noticed I haven't updated my blog omg. This shows how busy I am. My week just zoomed pass me so quickly.

Had cheerleading for the whole week. It feels weird now without practice.

23/5 Monday was crap. SC held Operation Thunderbolt which was just normal cheering session to pre-prep MJ for soccer finals. And after school, we had briefing by SC for soccer finals. It was freaking in the middle of everyone's cheerleading practice! And I concluded that SC likes to complicate things.. Practice ended at 11. Tiring but totally fun in exchange for a super bad headache and the lost of voice.

24/5 Went to see doctor for MC in the morning. All he could tell me was drink more water and gave me a packet of Danzen for my throat. Freaking cost me $18. Went to school for soccer after that, and I'm still annoyed at the SCs who kept asking me to cheer when I already lost my voice zzzzzzzzzz. But looking on the bright side, MJ vs VJ, 1-0! Victory. Well done boys! Dinner at Bugis after match for dinner with cheerleaders (:

25/5 Went to school at 7 for the last cheer prac. And officially one lesson for me to attend. Skipped Chem test because I didn't wanna get 0 (; Colosseum was okay, but cheerleading was super great. Although Phobos got 4th, but it's really the fun we had (: Callisto really deserved their Champion title for cheer. They're like super awesome! Still mad at YL for announcing the placings as if he's reading his grocery list. No offence but he really fail lahhs he.

26/5 Skipped school because I twisted my knee and ankle during cheer. Slack the whole day and do no work. Missed the last day of school. Lika shiok. But missed out a lot of things from what I heard. Slacker ftw!

No school today because of floorball's double champs and soccer guys champ! Yay! Gonna do up a study timetable for June break. Or else I'm gonna fail like mad already. Weather so good, just make me feel like sleeping only ~.~

Need a break from this world.

Woke up early on a Saturday morning for some PW research workshop in school today. Missed my alarm so rushed like mad to get stuff printed before getting out the house. Thank God for dad who sent me to school even though he was kinda late.

The workshop was quite good, learnt some things. Couldn't have lunch with cheerleaders because of ffw in the evening ): Serving today so gotta reach there by 12.30. I'm the end missed both 88 and 372. No lunch also late. Ffw was super good. Multi tasked : Keyboard, Chimes, Tambourines (; Sermon got so many stories also yay!

Shopped for stationary at TM with darling. He was freaking later for 35 minutes zzz. But at least I got my pens and highlighter and my packet of new erasers! Had dinner at Century Sq then headed home.

Another busy day to come, tired is an understatement.

Don't judge me if you don't know my story

20/05 Today started with crap. Really bad. Woke up and saw a text saying AC's concert is in the 13th and not 6th. The person gave me the wrong info yesterday. Got real pissed because I already told everyone that I can't make it, and nobody's going anymore. Can't possibly tell then that I can make it right? Sucks.

Talked to a friend and found out some truths during break just now. Felt damn cheated and kinda pissed. Why can't some people just give in to our schedule? Why must it be us giving in to your schedule?! And you still said that we're getting short of time.

Maths was shit. Just because I didn't do my work once, means I didn't do my work every single time? I hate teachers who judge or stereotype without knowing the picture. So you think you're the teacher, you big lahhs? I did my work, just that my brain was blur so my answers came up like that. But that doesn't mean I didn't tried our do my work. I was so looking forward to the lesson, until you just put me down like that. It's just do easy for you, but do you know how hard was it for me to climb up that flight of steps?

Cheerleading changed to 6. Vball with Athirah > Whitesands with Wynn Serene Athirah & Amri and got my bbt <3 Caught soccer match after that and they won RI 3-2 yay! National 3rd! ^^ Well done girls!

Cheer was fun. Enjoyed it like mad. But got a little pissed with people who wasn't alert. Like, Colosseum is coming Wednesday, and this attitude is what I see? Heart wrenching.

Finally home. Dead beat. A little annoyed, but still.. Life goes on. Too much things to do. Can't be bothered to expect anymore.

Tomorrow's plans : School > church > Home ; Long day ahead. Someone save me!

The day of stoning ;

"I hate that feeling. The feeling when you're sad, and you have no idea why. But you just are..."

19/05 Cheerleading and volleyball training/outing/farewell party clashes. Why did I make myself so damn busy that I don't even have time for myself? Feeling so lousy that vball plans have to be changed because of cheerleading..

Things got worse when darling told me ac's concert is on the 6th, which is the start of LTC. So freaking sad. I thought I could go out with my NCO mates ):

Stoned during Chem, Ms Low came and talk to me. She said, we cannot admit that we're busy because busy is 忙 which is 心亡. So true. Shall really start doing work now and stop using busy as an excuse. No one in the world is free, it's just the mindset (:

Received cheer prac schedule. Gonna miss church like mad ): One more week, I can do it! Colosseum will be great! (: Cheerleading was great, but so tiring.. We will win! Go Phobos!

Sometimes I just don't know how to tell you what I'm feeling...

It just wasn't my day.

18th May 2011 officially sucked.

1. Woke up to find out that dad left house without me -> Late for PW meeting.
2. Had ' SURPRISE' econs make up test without studying for it. Wrote rubbish. And teachers couldn't find my script after I handed it up. I really hope they find it.
3. Slight headache came back during Chem lecture. And couldn't catch the lecture.
4. Make up Maths test without studying. Spotted the wrong question while trying to do last minute revision during lunch. Went to test with all pens without ink and my favourite chocolate eraser missing.
5. Got motion sickness on the bus on the way home. Totally felt like fainting, luckily I didn't.
6. Reach home and slept for hours. No work done. Time totally wasted.
7. Darling woke me up from my sleep, calling to ask if I wanted to buy acjc band concert tickets.
8. Toe nail broke and that particular toe had to knock onto my bed frame. Pain like mad.
9. Mother took the charger and I couldn't charge my phone. Lost access to the outside world.
10. Dead skin on hand peeled off, and it bled. Super painful.

My top 10 suckiest thing that happened.

But looking on the brighter side,

1. Mascot accessories done and it looks wonderful.
2. Mum bought dinner so I didn't have to starve.
3. I got to talk to darling for more than an hour on the phone today (:

I guess this really sums up my day. Just hope that today will be a better day (: