It ain't fun, waking around the neighbourhood aimlessly at night, holding tears in, acting all so tough. Seeing all those old man, lurking around that area, I gotta ensure that there are people around me so I'm not alone in case I get kidnapped.
Walked on and on after I left the playground last night and landed up at Yanda's place. Maybe due to the fact that I need to use the toilet, my legs brought me there. On the way there, I saw this stray cat. It's ugly, freaking ugly, but I'm just so attracted to it. Because when I sat down in the floor with it, it felt as if it understands my plight, my situation, the pain I'm going through. It consoled me, by not leaving me alone. & I just sat there for 30 minutes, feeling so comfortable and safe.
When I reached Yanda's place, I realised that my legs couldn't bring me any further. My legs were hurting like crazy, but I didn't knew it because what hurt me emotionally was way more than the pain in my legs. No I'm not kidding. It sounds do damn dramatic, but it was for real. I went in and hogged his computer, then I went to sleep after bearing the tiredness for almost an hour. My gastric was killing me and all I needed was some rest. You think I wanna stayover?
At freaking 3am, my parents called.
"What's his address (Blk, unit number, everything) , I ask daddy to fetch you?"
"What time you coming home?"
"You want me to call his house phone to talk to his mother?"
"Are you boycotting us?"
Even after pig said he's having a paper today.
Why can't the questions come it to be like,
"Where are you, are you ok?"
"Why you don't wanna come home?"
& Who was the one who taught me to be considerate? So you think your daughter putting up at boyf's house because of what you've done not paiseh enough is it? Still wanna create so much trouble to disturb them. Why can't you just let people rest? I really don't understand. Is this about your face, your reputation, your 面子? Just because you don't want your daughter to stayover at her boyf's house, you can do all things??? I wonder why..
Actually, I feel worse than a dog.
I ran out, because the family is in a chaos. I ran out because I cannot stand it anymore. Seriously, who can stand it when you see your sister screaming at your mother; Your mother ignoring your father by all means (not even when I asked her to pick up the phone. Not even when her handphone is right bedside her and the call comes in, instead she turned off her phone); your father flaring at you when your mother refuse to talk to him???
&& more I have to get home immediately when they ask me to. Even pets have the right to run away when they cannot take it anymore. Right? So I have to continue to tolerate this nonsense? Just because I'm the older one so I have to take all this shit?
Thanks, what a wonderful family I have.